By Anni Dahms
Owner of the retail chain
ANNI’s VITAL SHOP.
Nurse- & Health specialist, Biopath and Nutritional Adviser.
Español * English * Suomi * Dansk
The month of March has arrived and with it comes spring with all its abundance of life affirming energy. It is visible everywhere; in the trees, grass, and bushes budding into green. Flowers in all colors start to blossom, spreading cheer and life. During my early morning walks, the blackbird starts to communicate with the most beautiful whistling. All this fills my hearth with joy and gratitude. But I find that all this excess of new life and cheerfulness can comfortably share space in my heart with a contrasting deep grief.
Grief is a part of life’s many facets. Once I had a friend over to introduce her to one of my new dogs, which I had just adopted from a kennel. I was very excited to show the dog to her and her first response was: “When you receive such a great joy, then you know that a great sorrow must follow” – this is as true as it gets.
I’ve had problems with my joints for a while, which greatly complicated my day, and my walks with the dogs. It led me to see a knowledgeable therapist whom had helped me previously. In the middle of a comfortable and relaxing session, she said: “You’re carrying a sorrow that you need to deal with”.
You don’t turn 75, without carrying around a few sorrows. Grief and joy are each other’s opposites, and both are part of life. No one walks through life without grief. If we can’t acknowledge this, then we lead poor lives. That day I became suddenly aware that I carry around many sorrows, which my busy life, with its many responsibilities and decisions, never gave me time to take care of.
The feeling of grief is quite unpleasant and can at times completely overpower you. Depending on the extent of your grief, it may sometimes make you feel like your life isn’t moving. Your relationship with your surroundings can appear in utter chaos. Grief is also experienced differently, depending on the type of person you are, and the amount of grief you are feeling. There are countless degrees of sorrow, but grief is not a sickness, it’s a natural process.
It is very important that you take sufficient time to grieve, which is something I see that many people don’t do, or aren’t allowed to do in this hyper-effective existence we have created.
“Time to get back on the horse. Life moves on” is perhaps what you tell yourself or are told by the people close to you. Often these people don’t have the patience to listen to you. But you should not let this steer you.
When you feel grief, then allow yourself to feel distressed and saddened. It’s good, even natural to cry, otherwise you run the risk of bottling up your emotions. Tears and sadness are safety valves that we were given as a gift…for a time.
Then you must change your frequency. Use your feelings in an goal-oriented way, consciously raise your feelings and start by feeling grateful for all the little things in life. No matter how difficult it might feel, you have to start thinking about things that you are happy about. Force yourself to smile a little on occasion. Or perhaps even sing or hum a piece of lovely music at least once per day. By doing this, you focus on the joy in your life. That way the happy feelings will slowly start to make you feel better, get you back to your everyday pursuits, no matter how difficult it may seem. Doing this will ease the process of rediscovering the source of happiness that resides within you.
Many years ago I read a clever book—whose title I’ve long since forgotten—that explained that it is important, when overcoming one’s grief, to use your body physically. Not with excessive hectic activities, but perhaps with walks and runs etc.
I recently read a large article in a Danish newspaper, about how a father who’d lost his daughter dealt with his grief by running. This activity helped mediate his sorrows.
When you feel grief, you often lose your appetite or the interest in eating completely. We have no surplus of energy for actual cooking, and therefore often choose the most readily available food sources. Often this is fast-food…or we decide not to bother and skip the meal entirely. This is a horrible cycle to enter, and it is important to use willpower to restore your eating habits as fast as you can.
If your food is very poor in nutrients, then it may have serious consequences for your health, but also for your mourning process.
If you only have the energy to eat a little, then make sure that it’s good food. Often it’s a good idea to plan the meals of the day by grouping them into 5 -7 smaller, easy to eat meals.
If someone close to you is mourning and lost their appetite, the best you can do is provide them with healthy, home cooked meals and even be present during the meal.
If you like ginger, take some. It increases, and supports your appetite.
Many foods have effect on the psyche. For instance, oats have a calming effect, so it may be a good idea to have for breakfast. Butter and cream can also be appropriate, because they, too, have a calming effect.
Green vegetables are able to ease our mood, whilst at the same time stabilize our blood sugar. Fruits also have an elevating quality on body and soul.
If you are a meat eater, make sure that you only have a little bit of meat, but of good quality and preferably ecological. It’s nutritious and constructive.
Avoid foods that are high in sugar. It triggers you blood sugar and in turn your mood. Sugar drains you and your body of energy in the long term.
You cannot heal you sorrows through dietary supplements, but you can take care of yourself and ease your mourning period with the right supplements. This can be of great help.
- Make sure that you get a high quality multivitamin / mineral product. It’s an absolute necessity to take this every single day to stabilize the body and counteract the stress that often accompany grief. The supplement also helps you if you have been eating poorly or comforted yourself with candy, alcohol, or too many cigarettes.
You can find Omnimin Pure HERE.
- You may want to consider a product containing all the amino acids, the building blocks of proteins.
You can find these amino acids tablets HERE.
- An easily absorbed vitamin-B is good in all cases where your mental and physical health is out of balance.
You can find Omni-B Active HERE.
- Add 2 grams of vitamin-C daily, to strengthen your immune system.
You can find Puhdas+ Vitamin C HERE.
- Zinc helps you mentally.
You can find Omni Zink 3 HERE.
- Often, when your blood sugar is out of balance during a mourning period, it can be a good idea to supplement with magnesium. Take the supplement in the evening. It helps if you are suffering from excessive thoughts.
You can find Puhdistamo Tripla Magnesium HERE.
- Lactic acid bacteria aid your digestion and can increase your overall well-being.
- It can be necessary to seek help when going through a mourning phase. If you have suffered a devastating loss, I personally think it’s important to find someone who can help you though the mourning period. Too many people never really talk to anyone about their grief. An untreated grief can, in my opinion, lead to a depression. Therefore it’s important to find the correct support. It should be helpful and make you feel that it provides you with care and an open heart.
Follow your gut feeling to see if you trust your helper. But you have to be sure that your helper also accepts your intuition and viewpoints and doesn’t just push their own agenda. We are all different.
The day my helper stepped through the door, I heard myself ask, without even thinking about it, if that person wanted to help me. I’m happy and grateful for that person’s clever and warm-hearted assistance, and for the smiles that start at this person’s smart, wise eyes.
- A skilled psychologist can also provide great support when processing your grief. He/she is a trained therapist, who’ll let you talk, and through your conversations can guide you back into the light.
I’ve heard of many different therapists who have helped people in mourning.
- Field therapy can help, too. It is a treatment method where you are guided to tap different spots on your head and upper body. It works with the meridians.
- Hypnosis, where you for instance travel back in time to deal with your sorrow, might be of help.
- Visiting a skilled psychokinesiologist can also help you through your mourning period.
- Bodytalk given by an educated and experienced Bodytalk practitioner can be a great help for moving on with your life.
- Clairvoyance, can provide you with peace of mind. Choose an experienced person whom you trust.
During my search for possible help in working through my grief, I found this wise and beautiful quote from Albert Schweizer:
“It’s assumed to be a professional secret, but I will tell you anyway. Us doctors don’t do anything. We just make sure to help and cheer your own internal doctor”.
All photos by Tiina Arminen